Why Should We Ever Have A Broken Heart?

by Dr. Carl Weisbrod

Dr. Weisbrod's MP3 Audio Podcasts

by Dr. Carl Weisbrod

From the "Book Of Esoteric Whys"

Any experienced psychologist or psychiatrist can remove the pain of a broken heart in a session or two. It's simply a matter of knowing the correct approach to take.

The broken-heart syndrome is relatively easy to

Dr. Carl Weisbrod

diagnose and victims of this incredibly painful symptom tend to follow a predictable thought process. In shrink talk, it's called cognitional errors.

Unfortunately, with overhead costs, liability insurance, and salaries for the staff, the cost will probably be in excess of $100, and that's even with a medical plan. Without insurance... you probably don't want to know how much it's going to cost!

The good news? You don't need to go to a high overhead clinic when your only wish is to have the pain go away.

By using an eBook, a cassette recording, and a workbook, the same thing can be done at a fraction of the usual cost.

Well, writers of country music say that they can't write good tear-jerker lyrics until they have experienced at least one broken heart. On a more practical note, the broken heart is probably necessary for emotional growth not unlike physical learning process as, for example, a child touches the hot stove. At the very least the broken heart teaches us to be careful how we invest our emotional energy.

A patient once said to me: "I never signed up for this class!"

Here are the features of a broken-heart: There are feelings of rejection and great loss. The problem is reactive, and that means the pain is a reaction to something; in this case a strong blow to the person's emotional stability. The problem is subjective, meaning that even though there is another person involved, the real pain is from over-reactive thoughts that have little direct relationship to the other person. The thoughts take on a cyclic/depressive pattern that become obsessive. Salient features are agitation, suicidal thoughts,
depression, pessimism, loss of efficiency, sleep problem , poor judgment, and anger.

Scientific types have egos that makes it difficult to learn from each others disciplines. Nevertheless, I've been forced to look away from the research of the behavioral scientist to find answers to perplexing problems.

If you've read the first chapter of this eBook on weight control, you will see that I found a solution withing the realm of the archeologist, et al., rather than the behavior scientist or the nutritionist.

The conflict the broken hearted experience is, of course, the inability to let go, even when logic tells them that to stay hooked in will bring only pain and misery. Why is this so? Strangely enough, a conflict like this is better understood by the physicist rather than a psychologist.

Physics is the science that deals with the laws of matter and energy. These laws tell us that matter isn't really solid-at least not like you and I think of solid.

The building block of all matter, the atom, is mostly space. If the nucleus of an atom was the size of a basketball and the placed on the fifty yard line of a football field, the closest speck of matter, the electron, would be out somewhere in the bleachers.

Atoms make up elements, which become molecules and compounds that make
up every speck of matter that exists.

So you see, everything is mostly space!

That which makes it seem solid is the energy bond that glues the entire universe together. If you unglue just a couple of pounds of atoms you can get one hell of an explosion that will (and sadly has) leveled entire cities.

Are you still with me? The point I want you to get from this is energy is more critical than anything you could break a tooth on.

I'll stop the physics lesson now if you can accept the importance of energy-so back to psychology.

The human thought processes takes the form of negative and positive energy. Positive energy is usually constructive; negative energy is often (but not always) destructive.

There is an energy investment in thought the same way that there is a money investment in a purchase. In both thought and purchases we may invest well but just as often we may invest poorly.

When investing in cognition (thought) here is a  rule: The more cognitive energy you invest, the more you "own" the thoughts in which you are investing.

As in physics, when the atomic weight increases, matter will progress from a gas, to a liquid, and then to a solid. As a body of thoughts become increasingly "solid," it can become very difficult to let it go-and it doesn't make one bit of difference if it's negative or positive thought.

Such dichotomies such as love and hate, joy and sorrow, can have equal power in our minds.

Once someone has invested great energy into something, that person will attempt to justify the value-no matter how negative or destructive it is.

I hope you can see how it's possible to get sucked in to some pretty horrible situations, and then attempt to convince yourself (and everybody else) that it's justifiable behavior. The more you dump your precious mental energy into a bottomless pit of a destructive relationship, the more hooked in you can get.

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Reference: How To Get Over A Broken Heart (an eBook, audio tape, and
workbook program).
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